Seeking Joy In Today

I don't think I'm the only person who deals with comparing herself to others. I've heard it's the thief of joy. And while I believe there are other things that also steal joy, comparisons might be up there. One of the things I've learned about myself in the past few years is as much as I want to be Elizabeth Bennet (literary references will continue through this example), I believe I end more in Jane's light. And even more recently... I feel a little more like Mary *gasp*.  I don't have that natural "unaffected" manner that made Elizabeth so attractive. I'd like to think I've grown into this confidence more as I've grown older, but every day is not like that. I'm sure we all wish we could be that girl, but we just aren't. So, how do we learn to embrace our own uniqueness? I haven't figured that out yet.

What I wish I were doing on such a cold, rainy day.  While I didn't get everything done yesterday that I had wanted, I did get most of them tackled by today. It was cold, raining, and sleeting all day, so it was perfect to stay inside, clean, and work in the kitchen. My napa cabbage is soaking in the brine. My floors are clean(er). My basket of pears is in the dehydrator, and I even managed to make an apple/pear crisp.  It helps to get all this done when I don't have to cook other meals. I had so many left overs, I didn't have to worry about making anything extra.  Mentally/emotionally, it was a good day today. I am a little frustrated right now because I feel like I've been doing some work while my spouse has... not been. He even good a 40 minute nap. And I must say, he's not usually a fan of "sitting around" while someone else is working, but I feel like a man's ability to see the mess the kid/s are making is not quite the same as a womans (for ...

Throwback picture because there aren't very many recent pictures. Should I work on that? An average day includes feeding the child/ren, cleaning up, playing, and cooking. Today I want to start my kimchi, roast some pumpkin seeds, and make some soup stock for dinner. I'm going to try to have the kid/s involved with the pumpkin seeds, so I hope they enjoy the treat. Some other, less fun, tasks that I would like to start today includes cleaning the bathroom and all the floors... which sounds like a pretty intense task. But, if I end up getting some of this done, maybe I'll find some time to make an apple crisp, which I really think will go over well after dinner. Today is looking up, I am feeling happy to be home. This is good considering my vehicle is in the shop, so I'm stuck here. The tasks don't seem overwhelming at the moment, and I'm trying to find the joy in today.  Do you ever wonder what someone else would think about your house if they walked in? I have a...

Wanting to start writing and sharing it with people is not something that comes easily to everyone. There have been a lot of struggles that have made me wonder if others have gone through the same thing. So while everyone is sleeping, this is the first step. My childhood has done a lot to shape me in similar ways it probably does for all of us. I’ve gone through times of trying to figure out who I am... and I don’t always feel like I’ve figured it out. Instead of feeling like a confident woman in my 30s, I feel like a young girl who lacks confidence in ways that make me cringe. I grew up in a conservative Christian household, and for the most part, I am sure people still consider me a conservative Christian. I was homeschooled, without a mother, tutored by the wife of one of my dads coworkers because my step mother disliked me and my older sister so much. After enough time, the feeling the mutual. Fast forward many years, and I have my own child/ren... and life is so different than I w...